Animated MixUp
by MoreThanMeetsTheEye231
Summary: OC and Transformers fan Hailey finds an Allspark shard and ends up getting mind-switched with TFA Prowl. How will the bystanders react to having their tranquil ninja replaced with a hyper fangirl, and vice versa?
1. The Start

Prowl

I walked through the halls of our warehouse base. As I passed through the room containing what Allspark fragments we'd recovered, a brilliant blue light shot from the case. I stepped over and the case opened of it's own accord. All the shards were faintly glimmering except one. I picked up the oddball, which went from dark to blinding in less than a nanoclik. And just as suddenly as it lit up, it was gone. Only a pinch of blue glitter was left between my digits where the shard had been. The rest of the Allspark flashed similarly and I fell offline as the ray of light struck me.

Hailey

My friend Sandy and I were in PE class. We were walking laps out in the large grassy field. I stopped mid-sentence when something caught my eye. I stooped to pick up the little blue rock, which started to glow warmly in my fingers. Sandy stepped closer to peer at the strange find. Suddenly it glowed blindingly and I hit the ground with a thud, the stone glowing innocently in my limp fingers.

I woke up with a headache. I groaned and opened my eyes. Things looked different, but that thought was pushed out if my mind as I saw who's faces were above me. "Oh my god! _No way!_" I yelled in surprise, causing the assembled Autobots to step back. I realized I was on the floor and sat up. "You ok?" Bumblebee asked skeptically. "I'm _better_ than ok!" I said happily, it was amazing to be seeing Autobots face-to-face.

Taking a second look at Bumblebee, I realized that the scale was totally off. I should gave been looking _way_ up to him. But he was only slightly taller than me, and I was sitting! "Wait... Bee, you're... _Short_..." I mumbled. "I know! Primus, ya don't have to rub it in!" fumed the vertically challenged 'Bot. "Not what I meant. I'm supposed to be tiny compared to you!" I said, not understanding what was going on. "Uhh... Have you finally lost it?" Bulkhead asked, his tone suggested he was really worried. I shook my head and decided to stand.

I shakily got to my feet, everything seemed heavier than it should have been. I stood, then promptly faceplanted. My face felt like it had been flattened when I looked up again. "Something's definitely wrong with Prowl." Bumblebee said, gawking at me on the ground. "What did you call me?" I asked, I _must_ have heard wrong. My voice finally registered. "That's _not_ my voice! I sound like a _guy_!" I said, clamping my hands over my mouth. My hands made a clanking noise that was oddly metallic when they came in contact with my face. That was enough to make me spin my head around to actually look at the body I was in. I saw a black, gold, and silver sleek robotic frame. At a loss for words and not able to stop myself before it happened, I let out a frantic "AAAAAHHHH!"

Prowl

When I onlined my optics, everything looked different. There was open sky above me instead of concrete. One organic face was over me, looking concerned. _Either I'm tiny, or that's the biggest human I've ever seen. _I thought as I met her gaze. She had blonde hair up in a ponytail and fair skin. She had freckles all over her face and blue eyes. I stood up and started to feel odd. There was a pressure in my chest that I'd never felt before. The organic female picked up on my distress. She came closer to look at me, apparently finding the problem quickly. "Hailey! Breathe!" She ordered as she pounded me on the back, causing me to open my mouth, letting a gush of air in. I instantly felt better. _Since when do I have to breathe?_ I thought as I looked down to assure there had been no systems damage. _Oh. Since now._ I thought as I saw not my Cybertronian frame, but a feminine organic body. "Oh frag." I said in my new (also feminine) voice.


	2. Confusion

Sandy

Hailey was acting weird. Well, weirder than usual. Her green eyes were wide as she stared at her fair hands. She bent her long, thin fingers as if she didn't believe they were hers. She picked up a lock of dirty blonde hair, then dropped it. She moved her fingers to her head, and took off her fedora, seemingly scared to do so at first. While she was examining the black pinstriped hat, the PE teacher started walking over. Hailey looked to her feet to see the weird rock. She quickly snatched it from the ground and balled her fist around it protectively. She slid both hands into her blue Transformers jacket pockets. She quickly collected herself. The expression on her face was as if nothing had even happened, and it lost that ever cheerful aura that Hailey always had. She never seemed downcast, and if she was, she'd fume and rant for about 5 minutes and be back to normal.

Her expression was unreadable as Mrs. Marinet stepped up to us with Mr. Nerton only a few steps behind. "What was that? We saw a flash of light and you two seemed to be close to the spot." Mrs. Marinet asked looking from Hailey to me. "I'm not quite sure, but I'm positive that I speak for both of us when I say that we're both a little jumbled." Hailey said. Hailey's voice had gained something, either wisdom or age. Probably both. She passed me a glance that clearly read "We need to talk, just go with it." "Yeah, Hailey here got the worst of whatever it was. She fell unconscious for a second, but got up again a moment later. I mostly just feel tingly." I supplied. Mr. Nerton nodded and said "Why don't you two go see the nurse?" We both nodded and left without a word. Hailey's first steps were tentative, as if she was off balance.

Not a single sentence was passed between us as we walked to the office. Since it was the last day of school, we didn't have to change into uniform and therefore went straight to the health office. Ms. Kiler, the school nurse, had us sit and asked why we were there. I told her that there'd been a weird flash of light and Hailey had fallen unconscious and stood up again a minute later. She took out temperatures and asked if anything hurt. Hailey said that her head hurt, and Ms. Kiler dismissed it as being from the fall. "I can't give ya Advil, so I'll just send you two home. It's the last day anyway, you won't miss much." Ms. Kiler said while writing up the slips.

We went back to get our backpacks, then walked to my house since I don't live terribly far from our school. My parents were gone and I usually walked home, so I had a key. It would be there perfect place to talk things over. Although I didn't think there would be much talking. It was just a weird incident. She'd probably call home to get picked up shortly.

It was cool for Southern California in summer, so it was warm, but pleasant. Hailey was just the kind of person to wear her jacket, fedora, and long pants anyway. I greatly preferred my yellow tank top and denim jeans, but that's just me.

Once we reached my air-conditioned house, we walked to my room. My dogs Kingsley (who is a great dane) and Avalon (who is a dalmatian) jumped on my bed to be with us, hardly leaving any room for Hailey and I (but that of course was mostly Kingsley's doing). I squeezed onto the bed, and Hailey just stood awkwardly. "Well, sit down. Just shove them out of the way. They quite honestly, don't care. Well, Avalon may glare at you, but ignore that." I said. Hailey managed to sit on the edge of the bed.

"So, what was the last thing you saw?" Hailey asked. I wasn't used to her voice yet. It sounded older. More mature. "Mature" and "Hailey" do _not_ go together. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but you get my point. "I don't really know. You picked up that weird rock-" I started. Hailey politely cut me off to hold up the glowing blue fragment. "This one?" she asked. "Yeah. That one. After you picked it up, it flashed and you fell. End of story." I finished. "Not quite. I'm not the Hailey you know. Last I was aware, I was in Detroit. I was in my team's base when the Allspark started acting oddly. I went to investigate, one shard disappeared, the rest lit up, and I woke up like this." Hailey stated, gesturing to herself. "Excuse me?" I asked, confused. "My name is Prowl. I'm an Autobot Cyberninja from the Planet Cybertron." Hailey stated. She said it in such a way that I knew she wasn't kidding. "Wait, like black, gold, and silver robotic? _That_ Prowl?" I asked. "Yes. _That_ Prowl." She said. I went silent.

Either this was the best day of my life, or Hailey was _really_ good at pranks. And I'd never heard her speak of or pull any pranks. I loved Transformers Animated, which from what I could tell is where this Prowl apparently came from, and he was my favorite character, too. Hailey was actually the one who got me hooked on Transformers Animated. That's another thing that was off about Hailey. She didn't have the fangirlish attitude about her.

"Ok, But this is pretty hard to believe. Where's your proof?" I asked. Hailey stood up calmly. She walked out of the room and beckoned me to follow. I trotted after her. She picked up a steak knife from the kitchen as she passed through. She continued out the back door and scaled the tree. She quickly disappeared in the canopy of green leaves. "Hailey?" I called. Not a moment later, she popped back into sight. The knife was in her right hand and she was hanging from a branch upside down by her legs. Hailey;s fedora slipped off. She sprung from the tree and flipped midair. She caught the fedora mid-flip and landed silently. 5 leaves fell from the tree almost faster than I could see, all 5 leaves were sliced by Hailey's knife. Hailey stood from her crouch as the leaves finally fluttered to the ground.

She handed me the knife and asked "Could Hailey do that?" "N-no." I stuttered stupidly. She (he?) walked past me into my house again. I followed with a stupid grin on my face. _Prowl! I'm with __Prowl__! Well, sorta._ I thought excitedly as I went back to my room to try to figure out our situation.

Ratchet

Prowl shot off the ground. He was clumsy and seemed likely to fall over. His forehead was dented as he looked around at all of us. He started rambling as fast as Blurr. I didn't understand everything he said but it went something like "I'm a robot! A _guy_ robot! Why am I a robot?" His helm started smoking as he freaked out. I let a wrench fly and it hit him squarely in the temple. He crumpled to the floor with a final exclamation of "Ow!"

I ignored the shocked looks I got from the rest of the team and stepped up to Prowl. Grabbing him by the ankle, I dragged him into the Med Bay and put him up on a berth. Scans and diagnostics revealed nothing abnormal. I even opened his processor to check it, and nothing was wrong, save the overheated logic circuit.

I fixed both the dent from his fall and my wrench. I opened his chest plating and started his reboot sequence. I swiped my tools away and set them back in their places. I hadn't done much, meaning few tools had been used, so clean up was quick. Prowl was still up before I'd finished, and I'd forgotten to shut his armor.

He jolted up from the berth, which wasn't too surprising considering how wound up he'd been a few minutes previous. He looked down and seemed to be shocked by his exposed circuitry. He looked to me and back to himself. He slowly closed the armor and proceeded to investigate his frame. He nearly speared his index finger on one of the points of the crest of his helm, and was with intrigued with his ninja stars which he'd almost lost a digit on. He seemed much more klutzy and inexperienced, more child-like. When he finally spoke, his voice also seemed younger.

"I assume you didn't find anything wrong?" "Nope." I replied simply. "I'd expect not. The only problem is that I'm not Prowl. Last I knew, I was a human girl. I was at PE, and I found this weird glowing blue rock-" Prowl started. I cut him off saying "Glowing blue rock?" "Yes." Prowl stated. I instantly knew this was a team matter. I sent an order via comm and also aloud to Prowl. "Conference. Now."

Jan

When my daughter, Hailey, called me to get picked up from Sandy's house, I found it quite odd. I'd never met Sandy, and I didn't know what she wasn't at school. Nonetheless, I showed up at the address I'd Googled within 10 minutes.

Hailey emerged from the house next to a girl with a befreckled face and blonde hair. "Hello, we've never met. I'm Sandy." the stranger greeted. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jan." I said. "Can you come inside? We have to talk." Hailey said formally. She sounded... different. They had already started toward the house, so I followed. What choice did I have?

We sat in the living room. A dalmatian and a great dane trotted into the room. The dalmatian laid on the ground and the great dane came and sniffed my hand. While I scratched his neck, Sandy started to explain. "An Incident happened at school today. Hailey found this," Here Hailey pulled out a blue glowing shard and displayed it. "and picked it up. We're pretty sure it's a shard of the Allspark. It flashed and she fell unconscious. When she woke, her mind had been switched with an alien from another dimension. The person who is currently occupying your daughter's body is Prowl. He's a cyberninja from the planet Cybertron." Sandy finished. "Cybertron? You mean a transformer?" I asked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Yes. I understand there was a cartoon about us, so that may make this even more unbelievable. So, I'll prove I'm not the Hailey you know." Hailey stated.

Hailey led the way outside, where a target was leaned against the fence, and 3 steak knives were laid on the grass. Hailey picked up the knives and stepped back so that she was 10 feet from the target. In 3 quick, successive throws, the knives' tips were buried in the bulls-eye of the dart-board. "You're _definitely_ not Hailey." I blurted.

Optimus

When Ratchet called a conference, we were all confused. We went anyways, or else the wrenches would fly. We met in the main living area where Ratchet was already waiting with Prowl. "Did ya fix 'em? Or is this meeting to tell us all that he's finally lost it?" Bumblebee asked. Both Prowl and Ratchet glared at him. Bumblebee was used to these glares, so he calmly seated himself on the cement couch next to Bulkhead.

I was the last to sit, and as soon as I did, I asked "So what is this all about?" "Apparently Prowl's not Prowl." Ratchet stated. "Yeah, last I knew, I was a human, teenage girl. I found a weird glowing blue rock. When I picked it up, it flashed. I woke up on your floor with a monster headache and looking like this." Prowl said as he gestured to himself. "By the way, wrenches to the head do _not_ help with headaches." Prowl added, glaring at Ratchet.

Prowl wasn't masking his emotions anymore. He seemed more klutzy than I'd ever seen him. His first few moments back online were proof enough of that. He also wasn't afraid to throw his arms around in expressive gestures (even though it seemed like he just didn't know what to do with his own servos), or pull weird facial expressions. He just acted... younger. Actually, he acted a lot like Bumblebee. That's what made me more likely to accept the weird piece of information.

"Did it look like his?" I asked, as I used an arm mounted scanner to show a hologram of an Allspark shard. "Yup. That's it alright. Allspark shard I take it?" Prowl said. "I thought you were a human?" Bulkhead asked. "Yeah, how do you know about the Allspark?" Bumblebee asked, quirking an optic ridge. "There's a cartoon about you guys where I come from. It's probably an alternate dimension." Prowl said simply. "How the _frag_ is an Allspark shard supposed to get into an alternate dimension?" Ratchet pointed out. Prowl merely shrugged his shoulders. "Let alone across the country. I live in California." Prowl added. "This is going to be a _long_ solar cycle." I said as I pinched the bridge of my olfactory sensor.


	3. Explanations

Hailey (In Prowl's Body)

"Yes. For the thousandth time, I was a human girl!" I said to a snickering Bumblebee. "He's never gonna let Prowl live down the fact that he is in a teenage girl's body. Supposedly, anyway." Bulkhead said, shaking his helm. "I bet not. Bumblebee's the kind of fragger to do that." I said. "How do you know our names? We never actually said them! ...Did we?" Bumblebee said, stopping mid-laughter. "I know who all of you are. Bumblebee, you're the loudmouth speedster." I said, pointing at the little yellow bot. "Hey! I'm not a loudmouth!" Bumblebee squawked. "Right, you keep tellin' yourself that, short stuff." I teased. Bumblebee glared at me, and went silent after a short growl. "Bulkhead, you're a space bridge expert. Ratchet, you're the doc-bot. Optimus, you're the leader. Prowl, your Prowl anyway, was a cyberninja. You are all part of a space bridge repair crew that crashed on Earth after finding the Allspark. You were in stasis for 50 years." I finished matter-of-factly. "How do you know all this?" Optimus asked. "Yeah! You've been here all of what, 5 cycles?" Bumblebee added. "I'm a fangirl. Long story short, I watch your cartoon." I said, shrugging. "Well, couldn't this all be an act? Are you pulling our stabilizing servos?" Bumblebee asked. "No. Look, how can I prove it to you?" I asked. "Tell us something that you know that Prowl wouldn't." Prime said simply. "Hmm... Oh, I've got something. Sentinel went to the Autobot Academy with Optimus, and is the reason Optimus was kicked out. Prime took the blame for the whole Elita-1 incident when it was really all Sentinel's fault." I said. "Yup. You're not Prowl." Optimus said. The others seemed confused, since they didn't know about Elita-1. "Yup. That incident basically made almost the entire fanbase hate Sentinel. I'm one of the ones that hate that egotistical douchebag." I added. "What? What's he talking about Prime?" Bumblebee asked. "Nevermind that." Optimus said.

"So, if you're not Prowl, who are you?" Bulkhead asked. "I'm Hailey." I said, relieved that they finally got it. "Ok, then _Hailey_. Quit overworking your ventilation systems!" Ratchet snapped. I hadn't even realized that I was using my vents. (The fact that I even had vents was odd enough.) I stopped but said "Well sorry! I'm used to ya know, _breathing_!" sarcastically. We both glared at each other. "Jeez, you're worse than my dad!" I huffed and crossed my arms, looking away from him to roll my eyes. "Suddenly the whole human teenager thing makes sense. And you guys say I'm immature!" Bumblebee commented. I stuck my glossa out at him. "I rest my case." Bumblebee concluded, earning a pointed glare from me.

"Moving on. I was wondering, where's Sari?" I asked. "Right here." Sari called as she walked into the room, rubbing her eyes. Her PJs were evidence enough that she had just woken up. "You just got up? And I thought I was lazy." I commented. "You'd sleep this late if you stayed up until midnight!" "All the way until 10:00? Seriously? You sleep until 10:00 after staying up until 2:00 in the morning at _least_." I scoffed. She's currently living here, right?" I asked. "Yeah. Her dad's-" Bee started. "Missing? I know." "You _should_ know. Why are you acting weird, Prowl?" Sari asked as Bee lifted her off the floor and set her on the arm rest of the concrete couch. "Prowl's not exactly Prowl." Bulkhead said. "Huh?" Sari asked, raising an eyebrow. "Long story short, I'm a 15 year old human girl named Hailey that got mind switched with Prowl because I found a shard of the Allspark at my school." I said dismissively. "Is Prowl crazy?" Sari asked after a moment of silence. "No, he's actually Hailey." Optimus said. "He? Am I a he? Or a she? ...Pronouns are gonna be confusing for a while..." I said, mostly to myself. Everyone was looking at me. "What? I talk to myself! It's not like you've never done that." I said, feeling awkward. "Actually..." Bulkhead said. I sighed and said "Nevermind. ...I wonder how Prowl's doing..."

Prowl (In Hailey's Body)

"Well, I was planning on picking Hailey up from school at this point, but it looks like you two may want to talk things over. I'll run some errands and come back in an hour." Jan said, leaving Sandy and I to discuss the matters at hand. "Now that we're clear on what happened, how do we go about reversing it?" I asked of myself and Sandy at the same time. The blonde absently scratched her larger canine's neck as she replied "That's the hard part." She stopped scratching and let the dog lick her hand. "My team will surely be aware of the switch by now." I added, mostly to myself. Pulling her hand out of the dog's reach, Sandy asked "Is there any way to contact them?" "Not without Teletraan 1." I stated. She nodded.

Her parental units chose this moment to arrive home. They opened the door and seemed surprised to see me. "Sandy? You didn't tell us we would be having a guest." Sandy's father said. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure. Who might you be?" asked Sandy's mother. "My name is Pr- I mean, my name is Hailey. I go to school with Sandy." I greeted, almost saying my Cybertronian designation. "So, what're you guys up to?" Sandy's father asked. "Just chatting." Sandy supplied. "What about?" Sandy's dad asked. "Uhh..." Sandy stuttered. "Oh, is it boys?" Sandy's mom asked with a smile. "No, mom!" Sandy squawked, obviously embarrassed. "We were just discussing our last day of school. Nothing more." I said calmly. Both parents looked away from their offspring and locked eyes with me. I returned a level look, and Sandy's dad commented "You know, you're very mature for a girl your age." "You could say that." I said with a shrug of my shoulders. They gave me an odd look but let us be. We moved our conversation to the privacy of Sandy's bedroom. We talked for almost a megacycle and got nowhere. Jan picked me up and Sandy promised to meet me tomorrow she said she'd call my phone. I'd have to figure out how that worked later on.

By the time we got home, it was time for "dinner." Jan and I had agreed to not tell Hailey's father and sister until tomorrow, since it was getting late. A plate of fuel was set in front of me, and I followed the rest of the family's lead. If you ask me, having to chew my fuel just didn't seem worth it.

Jan helped me change my cloth garments and I settled down into the padded berth Hailey normally occupied. It was the top bunk of a "bunk bed." The height was odd, but not unsettling. I was still wondering about the events of the day, but quickly fell into recharge.

Hailey (In Prowl's Body)

It was time for all the 'Bots to go to bed. Sari too. I shuffled out of the main room and toward the hall the others had disappeared down. _Why the frag are his heels freaking stilettos?_ I fumed as I stumbled yet again. I hoped that I'd get the hang of the whole balance thing by the morning, because I was tired of almost breaking my ankles. Not to mention my sore aft. Concrete is hard! I stumbled again and fell on my aft, causing a loud clank to sound. Ratchet peeked his head around the corner of his door with his optic ridge quirked. I waved him off and he went back in his room without a word. _Fragging high heels._ I fumed again. Then I realized my problem. I had been shifting my weight, as if I had to compensate for high heels. I tried to walk normally, as if I were back in my own body, and it worked. I smiled and entered my room, finally having gained some grace.

_Oh. Comfy._ I thought sarcastically, seeing the thick slab of metal serving as my bed. Although, when I lay down on it, it wasn't that bad. Not having nerves did have some perks. Only now did I realize that I hadn't really been feeling things as I was used to. I knew when something was solid, or painful. That was about it. I_t's gonna take a while to get used to being a robot._ I thought with a sigh. I looked up out of the gaping hole the giant tree situated in the room had created and saw a few bats whisk past in the star-strewn sky. _I guess I can see why nature boy wanted this room._ I thought just as sleep overtook me.


	4. The Elite Guard

Bumblebee

I was sent to Prowl's room to wake him up. Which in itself was odd. He was usually up even before the sun was, meditating and making that stupid humming noise. At least as long as Hailey was around there would be no "processor over matter" slag. I hit the button to open the door and stopped in the door frame. Prowl was on his berth alright, but he looked more like a giant sparkling than anything. Usually he was flat on his back, the same way we all recharged. Today, Prowl was on his side with his stabilizing servos curled up and one servo hanging over the edge of the berth and the other curled under his helm. Prowl's visor lit up, signaling his awakening. "What?" Prowl asked after a few seconds, sitting up on the berth. I left without a word.

Hailey (In Prowl's Body)

_What's with him? _I wondered. _It's like he's never seen a girl sleep. Wait... am I a girl? I guess not. A guy maybe? No. I refuse to be a guy. Too weird. Bot? Yeah. Let's go with that._ I dragged my mind off it's wandering tangent and back to the present. "Yup. I've officially gone crazy." I muttered to myself, as I'd done more than once at home. I then stood up and walked out of the room down the hall.

"Hey, look! The ninja can finally stay upright!" Bee announced as he took a seat on the couch next to Bulkhead. "Ha, Hilarious." I said with a roll of my eyes (which went unseen behind my visor) and my voice dripping sarcasm. Bee smirked and turned to whisper something to Bulkhead, so I took the opportunity to snatch the TV remote from his servo. Bee squawked at me, and crossed his arms with a huff. With a triumphant smirk, I flipped the TV on. A nature documentary came up on the oversized screen. "Eww. Education." I muttered as I flipped the channel to Phineas and Ferb. After a minute of silence (except for the TV of course) Bumblebee said "I never thought I'd ever hear Prowl say that in a million vorns." "Let alone substitute it for a cartoon." Bulkhead added. "What? Just because I got mindswitched with a ninja means I have to watch boring documentaries? I don't think so." I said. I got comfortable in the cement chair I was sitting in. Instead of sitting in as a normal person would, I twisted so that my back was against one arm rest and my legs dangled over the other. The other 2 Autobots in the room gave me an odd look, which I ignored. "Yes, I'm weird. Get used to it." I said without looking away from the TV.

At that moment, Prime's voice decided to sound off inside my head. For less than a second, I was freaked out, then I realized that it was Optimus over the comm link. "Autobots, the Elite guard ship just landed in downtown Detroit. Meet at the front door." Optimus ordered. I sighed, but turned off the TV and followed Bumblebee and Bulkhead (lest I get lost) to where Ratchet and Optimus already stood. "Autobots, roll out!" Optimus called. Optimus, Ratchet, and Bulkhead immediately folded into alt mode. I stood awkwardly for a moment, then gave it a try. I was jolty and very ungraceful, but I ended up as a motorcycle... which promptly fell over. I heard snickering behind me, and I saw Bee was holding a handheld camera, with the recording light flashing. "I will _kill_ you." I threatened, turning back into a robot (much quicker this time, might I add) and smacking Bumblebee on the back of the helm with a loud clank. If I was human, I would've been blushing fiercely, but blushing is (thankfully) impossible with a metal faceplate. I transformed once more as Bumblebee rubbed the back of his helm. "He said roll out!" Ratchet barked at Bee. Bee jumped a foot in the air, but quickly obliged. The camera landed in Bee's passenger seat. I managed to stay upright as we sped off. Once we'd taken off and gathered speed, driving wasn't that hard. I just followed close behind Bulkhead. I turned my holographic driver on a few seconds after we left.

* * *

We arrived at the monumental Elite Guard ship quickly. A circle of police officers surrounded the ship, as expected. I easily recognized Captain Fanzone as he strode up to our group, which were already back to bipedal mode. "So, what're they here for?" Fanzone asked, jerking his thumb in the massive ship's direction. "That's what we intend to find out." Optimus said to the blonde police captain, stepping toward the ship as the oversized door started to open.

Jazz

The Earth bots met us by the now open door of our command ship. I looked to Prowl and gave him a smile as greeting since it would be disrespectful to the Magnus to speak over him. I didn't need to listen to Magnus in particular since I already knew why we were here. It was hard not to with Sentinel's whining.

Maybe it was just me, but Prowl seemed... different. He didn't seem to be listening to Magnus, and he kept looking over the hull of the ship. It was like he'd never seen it before. He was also not in his normal posture (which is completely straight and attentive). He had all his weight on one stabilizing servo and it seemed oddly feminine. I pushed that thought out of my processor as Ultra Magnus led all the bots present back into the ship.

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

As soon as we were inside the ship, I saw the one and only Autobot that I wished would get shot in the face; Sentinel Prime. I couldn't help but glare daggers at him, and I hoped that it went unseen through my visor. Unfortunately, the fragger noticed. He loudly said "What's with him?" without caring who heard. "Nothing is 'with me'." I said, although you could hear definite annoyance in my voice. "Really? Because it looks like you want to bash his helm in." Bee piped up. I turned my glare to Bumblebee long enough to say "Not. Helping." "Let me talk to him a minute. Bot to bot." Sentinel said. Magnus nodded. "Fine." I said.

As soon as the door we'd walked through shut, he pounced. "What is with you? If looks could kill, I'd be offline!"

I said back "Well, I personally think we'd all be better off then."

"I don't get it. Why do you suddenly hate me?"

"Believe me, it wasn't sudden at all. Where to begin? How about the fact that you're basically the Autobot version of Starscream?"

"I am not! How dare you-!"

"Don't even start with me. You strive for power just for the sake of having power. You just want control. You're no leader. And the one chance you do get to play leader for a minute or two, you stand there gaping! Optimus had to take over, and then you give him heat for doing so! In the matter of 5 seconds, you made the jump from extremely annoying to utterly useless!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Frag you don't! When you detected the Allspark signature from that train! Before any of you believed there were Decepticons were even on Earth, Magnus got shot by Starscream!"

"You're greatly exaggerating-"

"I know about her."

"What 'her'?"

"Elita 1."

And the shouting match ended there. He went from livid and defensive to downright terrified.

"How do you know?" He stuttered pathetically.

"That organic planet. Optimus wanted to go back. But _no_, you had to be _macho_ for the pretty girl."

"I..."

"There were giant spiders. Optimus tried to save her, but there was an explosion. You wanted to go back for her, but he wouldn't because there was no trace of her life signal."

"How..."

"And yet, when you go back to the Elite guard, it's _Optimus_ who takes the heat for it all, instead of the real culprit."

"But..."

"That would be _you_, slaghead."

"You'll tell Magnus, won't you?" He said, looking as if he were about to break down.

"That's all you care about! Your _rank_!" I shouted at him, making him shrink back. I let a rush of blistering hot air out of my vents and continued "But don't worry, If anyone's gonna tell, It'll be Optimus. It's his choice." Sentinel let out a relieved puff of air from his vents. "Oh, and one more thing." I said. "Just wanted you to know that human skin sheds hundreds of cells a second, so there are millions of little skin particles floating all around the atmosphere. And that isn't even the best part. There are actually microorganisms too small to see with the unaided eye, and lots of them carry disease. And they're _all over_ you." Sentinel was obviously running a thorough scan, and finding my warning true. He quickly panicked and ran off like a little girl.

I commed Optimus "Where are you guys?" Magnus was the one to reply "Sentinel, take her to the command room." No answer. "Sentinel?" Magnus asked over the comm. "I don't think you'll be seeing him for a while." I said, smiling evilly. "What did you do to him?" Bee asked accusingly. "Just told him a fun fact about Earth." I answered innocently. "Jetfire, Jetstorm, retrieve Prowl and Sentinel Prime and report to the command." Magnus ordered. "Yes sir." The twins chorused.

Optimus

The Jet twins arrived shortly after getting the call. Prowl was in tow but Sentinel was nowhere to be seen. "Where is Sentinel Prime?" Ultra Magnus asked of his soldiers. "Sentinel Prime is being in decontamination chamber." Jetfire supplied. "And not coming out." Jetstorm finished. I couldn't help but notice that Prowl's mouth twitched up into a smile for a moment, only to be lost again to the look of curiosity he was giving the various consoles all around the command center. Magnus sighed nearly inaudibly before continuing. "Well then, we'll continue without him. As we were saying, there's been a rise in Decepticon activity around the galaxy, and we needed to know anything you know about the Decepticon activity on Earth." "The Decepticons have been quiet lately." I reported. "Maybe the 'Cons are just getting antsy without a leader?" Jazz proposed. "Perhaps. Are you positive there has been no Decepticon activity?" Magnus asked. "The Decepticons have been quiet. The Allspark however, is definitely causing problems." I said. "How so?" Magnus asked again. "That would be me." Prowl cut in. "Ya look normal to me." Jazz said, looking Prowl over. "It's not physical. ...How do I say this without sounding crazy? I am a human teenage girl from another dimension who has been mindswitched with Prowl. Yeah, there's no way to say that and sound sane." Prowl explained. Magnus and Jazz actually froze a moment, and you could hear the whirr of their logic circuits in the dead silence of the room. Prowl stood there, and I could tell he felt as awkward as humanly possible. Magnus recovered first, but Jazz was first to speak. "Mindswitched with Prowl?" Looking relieved that he hadn't broken them, Prowl quickly spoke up. "Yes. I was at school, and I found a shard of the Allspark in the grass. I picked it up and... ta-da." He said, gesturing to himself with the last word.

Suddenly an urgent comm came through to my team which Jazz and Magnus easily tapped into. "Guys! The Allspark! It looks like it's about to blow up or something!" Sari's voice cried out frantically.

_Meanwhile..._

Prowl (in Hailey's body)

Sandy and I sat in the living room of Hailey's home. Sandy was in an armchair while I opted for leaning against said chair on the floor. The ordeal had already been explained to Hailey's parents, so they were present as well, sitting on the couch across the small room from us. Hailey's younger sister was more interested in petting their canine, but was nonetheless present as well, lying on the floor in front of the couch beside the furry creature. I was holding the Allspark shard protectively in my hand, turning it over in my fingers as I listened to ideas being bounced around and shot down, once in a while adding something to the conversation. We'd still gotten nowhere on a plan to get me back to my normal body.

Out of nowhere, the shard in my hand started to glow. It yanked out of my grasp of its own will and floated in midair, causing a tornado of blue light and dust to appear. Everyone present grabbed whatever they could trying to keep out of the storm, but the twister had other ideas. It twisted and swooped in the direction of Sandy and I. We were sucked into the cyclone, leaving that dimension behind.

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

"Meet me out front, I've got a stop to make." I said over my shoulder. My robotic memory made it easy to navigate my way to where Sentinel had left me, and then I easily found the decontamination chamber. Sure enough, Sentinel was crouched inside looking as pathetic as ever. "Something's up with the Allspark, c'mon!" I yelled to him. He was attentive at the mention of the Allspark, but still refused to come out. "I've been here how long? And I'm still alive! You'll survive the microorganisms. And then you can take as long as you want in the decontamination chamber when you get back." I promised. He still wasn't convinced. "Okay fine, but don't come crying to me when Ultra Magnus demotes you for disobeying orders, he said he wanted _all_ Autobots." He regretfully exited the chamber, the air rushing to fill the vacuum he'd created in the chamber. "Let's get this over with." He said irritably. I ignored him and sprinted down the hall. The others were already transformed outside, and the police had just finished moving out of the way. Sentinel and I quickly joined them in vehicle mode and we headed for the base.

Bee opened a private comm link between us along the way. "Why did you bring him?"

"I don't want to be yelled at for putting him out of action." I replied.

"Oh."

"Plus, hopefully I can torture him some more."

He laughed.

"What did you do to him anyway?" He asked. I gave him a play-by-play, of course excluding the bit about Elita 1, with him agreeing with me on my accusations and congratulating me once I was done. By that time, we were back at base. The return drive was much quicker, but that may have had something to do with the fact that anyone who had a siren was blaring it the whole way.

Sure enough, the Allspark did look ready to blow. Sentinel kept away from Sari as she ran up to us. The case rattled violently, causing it to snap open of its own accord. Sari ducked behind Optimus' leg. The light became blinding, making everyone to avert their optics. When the light died down, two humans sat on the floor a few feet in front of the case, which was now closed, with a single Allspark shard sitting on the floor between them.

The light blonde human stood, rubbing her sore behind a moment. The much darker blonde to her right stood as well after taking a moment to scoop up the shard. "Sandy?" I asked, stepping toward the light blonde. Her head jerked my direction, then slowly rose to meet my gaze. Her freckled face scrunched up in confusion as she said "Hailey?" I nodded and smiled.

"Wait a nanoclik._ 'Hailey'?_ What am I missing here?" Sentinel piped up. I turned to look at the dark blue Autobot. "I am actually a human girl that has been mindswitched with Prowl. So actually, she's Prowl." I said, pointing down to my former body as I referenced to it. Sentinel walked as close to the humans as he dared, looking them over. He then turned and looked to Magnus, who only nodded. You could her the frantic whirring of his logic circuit, which actually started smoking, and he consequently glitched. He went stiff and was about to fall backwards in a processor crash. Unfortunately, his landing area was right on top of the two new arrivals. I realized this, and sprinted around Sentinel to scoop up the 2 humans. No sooner were they in my grasp then Sentinel was on the floor where they'd been a moment ago. I had one human in each fist as I glared down to Sentinel. "Some help he was." I said sarcastically, looking at the downed mech. Optimus spoke for the first time since arriving on base. "It's gonna be another long solar cycle, isn't it?"


	5. Sari, No One's Home

_**Chapter 5: Sari, No One's Home**_

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

I heard Sandy cough, and quickly loosened my grip having realized that I was suffocating the two humans in my grasp. I turned my hands over so that they were seated on my open palms. Sandy was looking both over the edge of my hands as well as the surroundings. Not to mention staring at the bots in the room, including me. Prowl, as cool and collected as ever, addressed his leader. "The Allspark shard is intact." he stated with little emotion, which was extremely weird to hear in my own voice. As Optimus gently took the shard from Prowl's grasp, I asked Sandy. "Do I really sound like that?" "Yeah, but usually with more insanity." Sandy replied. I quirked an optic ridge at the retort, but couldn't help but smile at the truth in the statement.

"We need to talk about this." Magnus said. Optimus nodded. "Do I have to go?" I asked, really not wanting to sit through a meeting. "I should be information enough. If Optimus says so, you can go." Prowl supplied. "Plus, we've seen your linguistic capabilities." Bumblebee mocked. "If I had a free hand, I'd slap you." I replied. "You are free to go." Optimus said, holding his hand out. I deposited Prowl in the offered hand. Optimus and Magnus walked off to the central room of the base, while Jazz and the twins worked together to drag Sentinel to the med bay behind Ratchet. Bee and Bulkhead went and plopped in front of the TV with Sari seated on the armrest beside Bee. That left Sandy and I. I decided to take her to my- er, Prowl's room.

I seated myself on the floor, aiding Sandy to climb the giant tree in the room so as to be at eye level. Once Sandy's eyes were free of the obligation to look for hand and foot holds on the tree, she was once again trying to look everywhere at once, often glancing back to me, then back to the room, as well as the view outside. "I gotta say, you reacted much better than I did." I told her. She finally decided to look one place, that being my optic band, as she replied. "That's because I'm the more sane one." I quirked an optic ridge. "Ok fine, less hyper one." Sandy conceded. "I'll accept that." I nodded. She related what had happened in our universe with Prowl, and I told her the crazy happenings of this universe.

About then, interruption came in the form of a yellow metallic body. "Hey, newbies, the Elite Guard left. Wanna go for a drive?"

Not long after that, Sandy was astride my alt mode as I tailed the yellow speedster through the city and Bulkhead brought up the rear. Bee ended up taking us to a straight, bare stretch of pavement outside the limits of the city. The blacktop was cracked with age and was obviously unused. "What're we doing here?" Sandy asked, releasing her hold on my handlebars as she surveyed her surroundings. "Let's race." Bee said. "What?" I asked. "It'll be easy and safe. No turns, no obstacles. Just open road. Bulkhead can judge." Bee explained. "Bee, I'm not so sure this is a good idea." Bulkhead said. "I'm not _that_ bad a driver. I'll be fine." I assured. "She kept up with Bumblebee all the way here, and that was with tons of turns, not to mention traffic." Sandy added. "Fine." Bulkhead relented. He drove off to the far end of the blacktop. "First to reach Bulkhead wins." Bee said as Bulkhead got into position. "Ok, but you have to play fair. That means no turbo boosters." I said. "Fine." Bee said with a huff. "Ok, be careful guys." Bulkhead said, "Ready, set, GO!" Bee and I were off like bullets. Sandy held the handlebars for dear life as her hair was whipped in a frenzy behind her head. I gave my passenger little mind as I focused all my energy reserves on moving forward. In seconds, Bulkhead was in sight, a few more seconds, I'd passed him. I tried to brake, but found no purchase on the gravelly blacktop. Panic flashed through my processor for a moment, and next thing I knew, I was crouched in robot mode, finally stilled on the blacktop. Bumblebee had to ungracefully fishtail to a stop and nearly fell over, but stopped successfully. "I won!" Bee declared, transforming. I stood from my crouch, and immediately started to search for Sandy. That was easily ended when I heard Sandy speak right next to my audio. "I'll never understand how that worked." Sandy said, admiring the view from her vantage point on my shoulder. I let her stay there as I walked up to Bulkhead. "So, who won?" Sandy asked. "Dead even tie." Bulkhead stated. "What?" Bee squawked. Bulkhead shrugged. My mind was no longer on the race, but what had happened after it. Apparently Prowl had left some of his instincts behind. I wondered if he'd left anything else, and what I'd left him. I was pulled from thought as Bee spoke to me. "You ok?" he asked. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. Just distracted." I replied. "We'd better get back to base. Optimus may be wondering where we went." Bulkhead said. Bumblebee folded back down into vehicle mode and lead the way.

Prowl (in Hailey's body)

For some reason, I couldn't help but be happy almost constantly. While the mood was nice, I knew it wasn't mine. It was Hailey's subconscious being happy at achieving a dream of hers; meeting transformers. I tried to suppress the feeling that didn't belong to me. I looked away from the nature documentary I had playing on the TV, which now seemed quite oversized, to see Bumblebee leading Bulkhead and my old body inside with Sandy perched on Hailey's shoulder. It was her body for now, until we could figure things out.

Optimus emerged from his quarters, and took control of the TV. I didn't object as he pulled up the news channel to show the Constructicons up to their old tricks. He turned the TV off as the returning quartet entered. "Autobots, the Constructicons are back. Transform and find them!" Hailey set Sandy down beside me and trotted to catch up to the others. They left shortly thereafter.

Sari finally walked out of her room and saw that it was only the three of us. "Where did they go?" Sari asked. "On a mission." I said. Sandy jumped down from the couch and approached Sari. "Hi, I don't think we've met properly. I'm Sandra, but please call me Sandy." She greeted. "Oh yeah, you're the girl from the other dimension. I guess you already know this, but I'm Sari." I flipped the TV back on and stayed out of the girls' business, but I listened to their conversation enough to know that Sari had invited Sandy to her room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that they chatted merrily, headed toward the hallway leading to personal quarters. To do so, they had to pass by the front door, which was now of course closed in the team's absence. It was by said door where Sandy stopped in her tracks. This earned my full attention, so I turned my head to see the blonde human jump over the trail of oil on the floor and hit a button, throwing the front door open to see the trail continuing farther than visible. "The oil trail... I know what episode this is!" Sandy declared, looking triumphant. But her look quickly fell as she realized something. She communicated this revelation aloud, but it was more of a warning. "The Constructicons are coming!"

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

"So, what exactly are we doing out here?" I asked. "The Constructicons have resurfaced." Optimus answered. "So we gotta track the slaggers down." Bee added. I noticed that oil was trickling down the side of his door. That was evidence enough for me to call out "Oh, I remember this episode! That means that we'll probably be confronted by-" But I was cut off by a massive body loudly touching down. "Blitzwing." I finished. "Prepare to be crushed, Autobot scum!" Hothead announced.

Scrapper

Mixmaster followed the trail of oil, which lead us to an old building. The front door was wide open, granting us easy admission. Something about the place gave me _de ja vu_. The bad kind. "Mix, I got a bad feeling. Let's just go." I suggested. "I aint leavin' witout da oil." Mix replied without looking up from the trail. It lead to a wide open room with an assembly line off to the side. The still mechanical arms gave me the creeps. Hanging at optic level were two barrels of oil. "Weird. Ah, whateva." Mix concluded, grabbing one barrel. I followed his lead. He yanked the barrel to break the rope holding it, which I copied as well. Unfortunately, that was a very bad idea. As it turned out, our barrels were empty, and as soon as we'd yanked, two full, larger barrels situated on the rafters tipped, spilling their contents on us and the surrounding area. Then the barrels themselves followed, hitting us in the helm and causing us to fall on our afts. The oil everywhere made it impossible to get up. That's when the electromagnet from the assembly line picked us up. We were awkwardly squished together, then dropped onto the conveyor belt, where 2 mechanical arms held us in place. Screws were shot into our armor, which were then welded into place. It was then that a small, all too familiar creature showed up. She stood smugly atop a computer console. "Had enough?" She asked, flanked by two similar creatures. One stood there looking triumphant, and the other was unreadable. I nodded my helm quickly, and noticed Mix do the same. The arms released, and we fled.

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

I hoped Sandy had made the same realization I did, because we were too busy to go back and help with the Constructicons back at the base. Blitzwing was having the time of his life going trigger happy on us. We were dodging mostly fire as Hothead reigned, and a few ice blasts when Random made appearances. His current favorite target was me. I had to run because I could feel the heat of the flames on my heels. I ended up being corralled to a wall with Blitzwing just behind me. I didn't even think as I rushed at the wall, running a few steps up it, then propelled myself off it, right over the Decepticon's head. "Look at ze little ninja bot!" Random declared giddily as I landed easily. Leftover ninja programming had its advantages. "Prowl!" Optimus called, but I was too busy dodging Blitzwing's incoming fist to register that the foreign name was referring to me. "Hailey!" My real name easily caught my attention and I ducked one more punch before running to join the football huddle that was forming.

Blitzwing heckled at us off to the side, but either cockiness or insanity kept him from attacking. Optimus ordered Omega Formation, and before I could tell him it wouldn't work out well, Bumblebee was running ahead, so I played my part. Luckily I knew what Omega Formation was, because no one bothered to tell me. I allowed myself to be thrown by Bulkhead, and the ninja programs kicked in again as I positioned myself midair, and sent Blitzwing sprawling on his back. Ratchet came up for his part, but was a second too slow. He was grabbed from behind in a headlock, and just like that, we were at a stalemate.

Blitzwing

Luckily, my cold, logical personality had been in control when Megatron ordered me to leave. However, the odd designation that the ninja had responded to would not leave my processor. It seemed oddly human, and even more strangely, _female_. So before I let my hostage go, I pulled a wireless audio device from a compartment in my wrist, and attached it to the old Autobot as I shoved him to the ground. "Next time, Autobots." I vowed, jetting into the air.

I returned back to base with the Constructicons in tow not long thereafter. Despite my success, I'd still disobeyed orders. So of course, Megatron confronted me about it. I took the berating without complaint. "But my lord, I zink I found an anomaly in ze Autobot team. Ze ninjabot, Prowl, did not respond to his designation." I said in a break in his tirade. "What of it?" Megatron said. "He did however did respond respond to another designation; _'Hailey'_." ""Hailey'?" "It's a little girl name!" My crazy personality chimed in. My sane personality retook control to elaborate. "It is a human name, feminine in nature. I planted a bug on ze medibot to see if any answers could be obtained, if your lordship is interested." "What is the frequency?" Megatron asked. He put up no complaint when I typed in the frequency on our computer console, and audio from the Autobot base immediately streamed. It was a little frazzled by the distance, but it could be understood.

"Wow, this place looks pretty good for being invaded by Constructicons." The ninjabot commented. "There's an oil spill in the back, but that's all. It was Sandy's idea." the human child with the Allspark key replied. "Nah, it was nothing." said a new voice, apparently named "Sandy." "I actually took the idea from the episode and put a little Home Alone spin on it. You would have done it if I hadn't." Sandy continued. "So you knew the Constructicons were coming here?" the leader asked. "Well yeah. Hailey probably did too." Sandy said, referring to the ninjabot. "I did but, we were a little preoccupied by Blitzy." the ninjabot replied. I felt my aggressive and insane personalities both try to come out at once to make comebacks at the unappreciated nickname, but kept them at bay. "So you know exactly what's gonna happen? Like, all the time?" the little yellow bot asked. "You guys are a cartoon in the dimension Sandy and I come from, remember? So once familiar events start to take place, we can name you the episode as well as the basic plot." the ninjabot explained. "I never thought you and Prowl getting your minds switched could be a tactical advantage... Could you tell us what the Decepticons are planning?" the leader asked. "Oh, easily." the ninjabot said.

We needed to hear no more. I cut the line and Megatron spoke. "If it can tell the Autobots what the Decepticons planning, it can tell the Decepticons what the Autobots are planning. Perhaps its high time this 'Hailey' character got to see some Decepticon hospitality."


	6. Surprise Adoption

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

Random explosions in the city and general chaos could only mean one thing in Detroit; the Decepticons were in town. Either that or something had gone wrong over at Sumdac Systems. However, with Professor Sumdac still missing, it was safe to assume the former. And of course, lucky us, it was. Lugnut was sending off a few missiles just as we showed up, while Random Blitzwing was having a field day freezing things in huge ice crystals, or blowing them sky high in gouts of flame. They were in the middle of a construction site, the bare beginnings of a skeletal building long since flattened by the rampaging Decepticons.

Upon our arrival, the Decepticon's weapons were instantly trained on us instead of the surrounding area. We all simultaneously transformed and dove for cover as a barrage of missiles sailed over our heads. Over the din of explosions, Bumblebee called "I don't get it! What's here for the 'Cons to gain? There's nothing! Well, except us." "That's it!" I exclaimed as the last of the missiles went off. "They want us, but why?" Optimus asked. No one knew, and we didn't have much time to think about it as the Decepticons rushed our safe zone. In seconds, it was an all out brawl.

Bumblebee was peppering Blitzwing's armor with stinger shots while Optimus matched Blitzwing blow for blow. Optimus couldn't get the upper hand on the larger Decepticon, but none of Blitzwing's punches were landing either. Bulkhead and Ratchet kept Lugnut's attention split as Bulkhead slammed him with his wrecking ball, but Ratchet used his magnets to lead any missiles shot by Lugnut astray, and Lugnut couldn't reach as far as Bulkhead's wrecking ball, leaving him unable to inflict any damage either. I now realized how stupid my coming here was; I had no battle skills whatsoever. The only battle skills I had came from leftover ninja programs which only kicked in is someone's life was in danger, which no one's really was in this stalemate. That balanced shattered however the second Lugnut raised his arm and retracted his claws, revealing a blinking red button. "Punch of Kill Everything!" I yelled across the battlefield. Bumblebee turned his head to look at me when I exclaimed such an odd statement. Blitzwing took that chance to savagely kick Bumblebee, sending him flying toward Lugnut just before Blitzwing transformed and flew straight upward. Bee was going at such a speed that he would easily land as Lugnut's pedes, and he would be incinerated if he was that close to the epicenter of the explosion.

A life was at stake, my ninja programming instantly came online. I sprinted for Bumblebee, my path perpendicular to his, and I leapt so that my body was parallel to the ground. I then caught Bumblebee mid-flight and tucked my frame around his smaller one. Then the explosion went off. Everyone was thrown backward from the blast. I ended up hitting the ground and rolling to a stop still tucked in a tight ball. As we finally stopped rolling, I let go of Bumblebee. He quickly got out of my grasp, and I didn't blame him. That maneuver was a bit awkward, but I didn't think he'd be complaining about it any time soon.

Before I even had time to stand up from my position sprawled on the ground, I suddenly had my back against the chest of a much larger body. "Don't do anything rash, or ze ninjabot dies." Icy Blitzwing's voice said from right behind me, He didn't even react as I struggled in his grip. He threw me atop of a now transformed Lugnut, who promptly took off. "Ta-Ta!" Random called, cackling as he transformed to jet mode and took off as well. I tried to jump off Lugnut, only to be caught by Blitzwing below. He swooped upward at breakneck speed, leveling out after a minute. "I vouldn't jump if I were you. At zis altitude, your odds of survival are doubtful at best." Icy stated. "Autobot pancake!" Random gleefully added. Looking over the edge of Blitzwing's wingspan, I saw he was right. I gripped the edges of Blitzwing's wings for dear life as we zipped over Detroit. "So, why kidnap me all of a sudden?" I asked, hoping to wheedle some answers out of him. "It's not kidnapping, It's surprise adoption!" Random insisted. I stayed quiet. His bouts of insanity were funnier when I viewed them behind the safety of a TV screen.

Sandy

The team returned, and my heart dropped as I realized one Autobot was missing. "Where's Hailey?" I asked. "Gone. The Decepticons took her." Optimus said looking defeated. Everyone looked like they'd been run through a trash compactor except Bumblebee. So he stayed in the main room while Ratchet carted off all the others for repairs. Bumblebee's superficial repairs could wait. He plopped down on he couch opposite the three humans present. Sari and I were perched atop the back of the couch and Prowl was standing on the armrest. "What happened?" Sari asked. Bumblebee explained how the battle had reached a stalemate, the lugnut had pulled out his specialty. He told us he wouldn't even have been having this conversation if Hailey hadn't saved him.

"We need to get her back. She won't last long with the Decepticons." Bee finished. "I agree that rescue is necessary, but at least we have some time. The Decepticons wouldn't kidnap her for no reason. So they've got to want something from her. Knowing Hailey, she'll give them quite a hard time getting anything from her." I said. "She may have a Cybertronian frame, but she's still only human. She doesn't stand a chance." Bee said. "Only human? What's that supposed to mean? Yeah, we're squishy and small, but we're not totally helpless." I said with assent from Sari. Bee's look said he thought different. "As much as we respect humans, you're still primitive. You've got plenty to learn yet." Optimus chimed in, just returning from the med bay. He was stabilized, but he still needed repairs. But those, like Bumblebee's could wait. And unfortunately as of right then, that's all we could do either.


	7. Arrival

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

By the time we'd reached the cave system serving as the Decepticon base, I'd firmly decided I never wanted to fly again. Every now and again Random would take over and perform corkscrews and loop-the-loops with me clinging to his alt mode for dear life. I was surprised he continued even after I felt the metal of his wing bending beneath the hard grip of my fingers, which was the only thing keeping me alive. He'd eventually stop when either Icy took back over of he got yelled at by Lugnut. Something along the lines of "You fool! Our glorious lord Megatron wanted the Autobot _online_!" Needless to say, I was almost happy when we landed.

That happiness was brief as Blitzwing wouldn't even allow me to walk, and instead pinned my back to his chest, letting my feet dangle awkwardly a few feet off the ground (those feet seemed more like inches at my current size). I tried to trip him up with said dangling appendages to no avail as he carried me into the labyrinth of tunnels the Deceptions now called their home on Earth.

Entering a room larger than any of the many tunnels we'd been through, I saw the small Decepticon control hub and a large throne overlooking it. Megatron was seated in said throne, looking at me as if I were an object to be appraised instead of a living human being. (Oh, wait. That's right. I _wasn't_ a human.) Blitzwing, at this point, threw me onto the ground, making sure he tossed me in such a way that I had no possibility of landing with dignity. Sure enough, I landed flat on my face. _Ow_. I thought as I pulled my face off the ground. Before I could sit up, Megatron already had his foot on my shoulder, keeping it painfully pinned to the ground. "I assume you know who I am?" Megatron asked. _So that's why they want me. Well, if they already know, no use playing dumb. They'd kill me if I did that anyways._ I reasoned quickly. "'Course I do! How's it goin' Megsy?" He growled and pressed his foot harder into my shoulder. "Ouch. I kinda need that." I complained to the warlord. He obviously ignored me. "Do you know why you're here?" He asked. "Certainly not to ask me out. Or, if you are, this isn't such a good start." I replied sarcastically. The pressure of his foot lifted off me. My relief was even more brief than my happiness after landing as I instantly had the warlord's hand closed around my throat.

Now, I didn't have to breathe, which was good. But my neck did have vital energon lines in it that he now had access to. Not good. "I do not appreciate humor in prisoners. Now, I know that you have intel on the Autobots. Plans, tactics, even events that have yet to occur. Tell me now, and you may live to see the next solarcycle." I crossed my arms and made 'hmmm' noises, as if I were thinking. "Uh, how about _NO_." I stated with finality. He dropped me to the floor.

"Blitzwing, loosen his glossa." Megatron said over his shoulder as he headed over to his throne. He placed his elbows on the arms of the chair, folded his hands, and rested his chin on them and watched expressionlessly as Hothead grinned evilly at me and advanced. As I was standing, I noticed that his chest was smeared with energon. I'd been bleeding on him when he carried me. I must have taken damage from Lugnut's Punch of Kill Everything, but was too busy clinging to Blitzwing for dear life to notice.

I knew what was coming, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Blitzwing rained blows upon me and warnings blazed across my line of vision, nearly blinding me. I couldn't read any of them. When my helm painfully connected with the wall as Blitzwing threw me, yet another message popped in front of my vision. My processor somehow translated that to something about activating ninjabot protocols, and I quickly accepted. The next few minutes were different than anything I'd ever felt. Normally when the ninja programming kicked in, I could feel it telling me what to do and I would obey. Now it was as if I were watching someone else move with my limbs. I ducked punches even before I saw that they were coming. Getting angrier with each failed swipe, Hothead continued to attack fruitlessly.

"Enough!" Megatron called. Hothead reluctantly retreated. Megatron stepped back up to me where I sat against the wall, a small puddle of energon slowly forming below me. "Let's try again. Tell me what you know." Megatron said dangerously. "What I know? I know that you're gonna lose, Megatron. And I'm not going to tell you anything because I want to keep it that way." I replied defiantly. He growled and kicked me one last time before turning putting his finger to the side of his helm. "Mixmaster! Scrapper! Get in here you idiots! I've got a prisoner you need to repair. A dead prisoner is a useless one." Megatron ordered. While the attention was off me, I surreptitiously stowed the ninja stars attached to my legs in my subspace. Megatron walked away.

The Constructicons showed up shortly and they allowed me to shuffle behind Mixmaster and in front of Scrapper, leading me to their shared quarters/Med Bay. I was sloppily fixed, they were construction workers, not medics after all, but the repairs were effective. Repairs were also painful, since they didn't bother to put me into stasis lock first, as any trained medic would have. (Then again, I wouldn't want to be in such a vulnerable state as stasis lock in the middle of the Decepticon base.) I was given a minimal ration of oil to replace what I'd bled out. (Ratchet had once explained to me that with the lack of energon on Earth, oil could be consumed instead and filtered into energon internally. It was less efficient, but it worked.) I was then led to the brig and locked up.

Shortly after, I retreated from the outside world and into my mind, trying to find the thingy for ninja protocols again. Now, how to pull that up? Hopefully there was a way to do it less painfully than hitting my helm on a wall. Being able to be able to ninja myself out of a bad situation would be useful if I wanted to stay alive. Which I did. Within a few minutes of digging (It was surprisingly easy to sift through databanks, despite the fact that I wasn't even used to even having databanks) I'd found it again. And not a moment too soon.

Megatron was flanked by Blitzwing and Lugnut. "Feeling any more cooperative?" Megatron asked. In response, I flipped him off. He scowled and Blitzwing was instantly lunging through the now unlocked door, malice in his blood red optics. I activated ninjabot protocols. I crouched low to avoid his first punch, then leapt out of range, once again falling into a crouch. I was now outside the cell, but Megatron and Lugnut were each blocking the only two tunnels available. I had more space now, but I was going nowhere. I sprung off the wall to avoid the tackle aimed for me. As I sailed over Hothead's helm, I realized that all the moves I was making were defensive. _His greater size and strength would make head on attacks useless. I need to use his own force against him. _I thought. Wait, how did I know that?

I landed in the door of the cell facing my opponent. Hothead spun on a dime and came back at me. I watched him come. Just as his fist came at me, aimed for a vicious hook up into my abdomen, my arms snapped out, snatched his fist and used his own momentum to sling him into the wall behind me, causing a small earthquake. I was instantly back in a low crouch, and now all three Decepticons had been stunned into silence.

"Blitzwing, come. We must discuss." Blitzwing's face swiveled to reveal the light blue faceplates of Icy before calmly walking past me and following beside his leader. Lugnut stopped to close the cell door before trotting to catch up with his commander.

I was alone once more. _Discuss, huh? I probably want to hear that._ I figured. I quickly checked that the coast was clear before reactivating the ninja protocols I had disabled when the 'Cons left. One of my ninja stars was pulled out of subspace and used to pick the lock, which I could now do since a stray limb of Blitzwing's had bent the bars enough for me to fit an arm through. Now free, I considered escape. _I'd never find my way out before I was caught. As of now, it will be best to gather information and wait for a better opportunity._ I reasoned quickly. I cranked up the sensitivity of my audio receptors, and heard a faint clanking of metallic feet against the stone floor. I trotted to catch up, somehow managing to do so completely silently. Even with my hearing as sensitive as it was now, my footsteps were nearly drowned out by the footsteps of the Decepticons.

Once I got close, I used the polished blade of one of my ninja stars like a mirror to see around the corner. The Decepticons disappeared into a room nearby. As soon as the door shut, I found a shallow depression on the roof next to the wooden support nearest the door. Climbing up and situating myself there, I cast a hologram over myself to blend into the ceiling. My audio sensitivity was turned up again and I could hear their conversation clearly, although slightly muffled.

"Our current strategy is not working. What now?" Megatron mused aloud.

"Vell, torture vill not work." Icy supplied.

"Because the coward is too slippery for me to land a punch!" Hothead added.

"You are incompetent! Our glorious leader will make the Autobot talk!" Lugnut proclaimed.

"You fool, physicality is futile against a ninjabot. And at this point, we do not have the resources to use ranged weapons. The energy drain is too great." Megatron stated.

"Ve have little energy, but vat ve do have is time." Icy stated. "Ve simply have to vait him out. He vill crash either for lack of recharge or a deficiency of energon. Zen ve vill have easy access to his processor, where we can extract the data ve need, zen dispose of ze Autobot."

"Make sure the prisoner receives no oil rations, and watch him constantly, we need to pounce as soon as he falls into recharge." Megatron stated, not even acknowledging Blitzwing for his plan.

_A waiting game, huh? Well, we can both play that game._ I said to myself as I slipped into my cell and locked the door. I was prepared to persevere just as long as Megatron was.


	8. The Disc of Doom

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

I sat back in my cell, staring into space. _Megsy'll be here any minute._ I thought. _He better be quick. Trying to find patterns in the ceiling is getting boring._ I vented a sigh.

Just then, the trio of Decepticons came into sight. Megatron skipped the formalities, unsurprisingly. "You have a choice, Autobot. You may either stay in this cell, or you will be allowed to walk about the base, as long as you wear this." Megatron stated, holding up a small disc about the size of my palm. I knew immediately that the first option was out of the question. Sitting in cell with nothing to do, I would no doubt fall asleep. The second option, knowing Megsy, was meant to make me expend my energy faster, but I had to go with it. "I like the second option." I stated, standing up. As Blitzwing unlocked the cage, Megatron quirked his optic ridges in surprise. "Really? Most Cybertronians cower at the sight of one of these." I stepped out into the hall past Blitzwing. "Why?" I asked. As answer, Megatron hit the button on the device and it whirred a bit in his palm. Four spikes unfolded from the circular edge. Before I had time to regret my choice, Megatron had slammed the device onto my chest, the four spikes tearing through my armor painfully. I cried out, I couldn't help myself, and fell back from the force of Megatron's shove.

Once the pain was no longer blinding, I felt like there was a cold hand around my spark. Megatron stood over me and was silhouetted by the lights installed along the ceiling. "This little device will track your every move, and has a sensory net over your spark chamber. We will know where you are and your exact condition at any given moment. So no surprises." Megatron said, looking all too pleased with himself, "They were common in the Great War. Kept prisoners in line." Hothead stood behind him, his smirk plainly showing his joy at seeing me in pain. Sick fragger.

"Stand up." Megatron ordered, the tone of amused pleasure gone from his voice. I stood up shakily. "Any ground rules I should know?" I asked. "Smart Autobot." Megatron said, amusement back. He was serious once more as he continued. "You do anything you're asked. If you are unwanted, go. If we need slave labor, you do it. If a room is locked or inhabited, keep walking." He paused. "Oh, and don't go too far. You wouldn't want to anyway. The device you now wear will grow more painful if you near the boundary line." Megatron turned and started to walk away. "You said I wouldn't want to cross the boundary line. What's that supposed to mean?" I called to his retreating form. He called back without stopping "The device will make your spark chamber burst, of course."

After they were gone, I slipped back into the cell to sit on the stone bench provided. I looked down at the device, a light was centered on the disc, its red light fading in and out slowly. I touched the disc and pain shot through me. The wounds were still too fresh. Making sure no one was around, I gently felt around my torso for the seam of my chest armor. Finding it, I pried the repair hatch open. I winced as the armor opened, causing the disc to hurt again. On the back side of the armor, right where the disc was, the four spikes had curled in on themselves. A hole had been bored where the center of the disc was, with a web of sparkling black wires flowing out from said hole. The wires wrapped around a thick box in the center of my systems, almost completely masking its existence in the cocoon. I placed a finger on it, and I could barely feel the pulse of my spark. Megatron now had the ability to literally blow up my soul.

Frag.

((AN: Yeah, short chapter. I know. Not a very fun chapter either. It will get back to a much lighter tone after this, promise.))


	9. Life With the 'Cons

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

Well. One thing I learned very quickly that day: Slave labor sucks.

I'd carried around so many heavy objects I'd lost track of how many and what the frag they were. To make matters worse, every time I walked past Blitzwing, Random made a point to poke the disc affixed to my chest, and it hurt like a son of a glitch every time.

At this point, I'd already been awake 24 hours straight. Apparently Decepticons didn't follow Earth time, as someone was always awake. Is it sad to say that this was the first time I'd ever pulled an all-nighter? My body demanded sleep, but I knew that I couldn't even lie down. I just had to find a way to stay awake.

Sandy

"You're supposed to know everything about us, right? So what's coming up?" Bumblebee asked for the tenth time. "I told you Bumblebee, I'm afraid of mucking up the plot of this show. What if I change something important, and the ending comes out different?" I said, also for the tenth time. "Sandra-" Optimus started. "Sandy." I corrected. He loved being so formal about names. "Right. Sandy. We need to know what's coming next, so that we can prepare for it. The Decepticons probably already have that information." Optimus said gently. "No. They don't. There's no way Hailey gave them a scrap of information." I said, almost angry that he just assumed Hailey had cracked. "But she's only human." Ratchet said, a little sadly. "So? You're suddenly better than us because you're giant and metal?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest, favoring Optimus with an icy glare. "No. But... Look, even if they don't have this information, we need to. I think that your very presence here may have 'mucked up the plot.' I assume the Decepticons never kidnapped Prowl in your dimension?" Optimus reasoned. I knew he still wasn't on my side, but I let my arms as well as my bubbling anger fall. "You're right. Okay, let me think..."

All optics (or in Prowl and Sari's cases, eyes) were on me. I muttered to myself as I tried to string the bits of information I knew to get an idea of where we were in the timeline. Almost everyone in the room flinched as I finally called out "I got it!" Optimus kneeled down to be more eye-level as he asked "What's happening?" "We need to protect Bulkhead at all costs. If the 'Cons make a grab for him, I know exactly where we are." Everyone gave me the same look, which conveyed the thoughts of just about everyone in the room. _What the Frag do the Decepticons want with __**Bulkhead**__?_

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

"What the front-end loader are you doin'?" The sudden voice startled me and caused me to fall from where I'd been hanging upside-down from the rafters. As I pulled myself up, I saw that it was Mixmaster who had spoken, Scrapper just behind him. "Hey, you guys got a new color scheme. And your optics are red." I commented, my sleep deprived mind slow on the uptake. "Ya. What's your point?" Mixmaster asked. "You're official 'Cons now!" I said, poking the new Decepticon logo on Mixmaster's chest. "'Ey! 'Nuff a dat." He said, shrinking away from my touch.

Oh, so they were freshly branded. I had no fear of these bumbling Decepticons, so I knew I could use this new knowledge to my advantage. "Enough of what? This?" I said evilly, prodding Scrapper's insignia. "Hey!" Scrapper protested. I continued to poke them, alternating my victims with each prod. It was not long until they ran. I chased them down the halls, until I saw that Blitzwing was rounding the corner. I stopped on a dime, while the Constructicons stumbled in an attempt to stop, but the three 'Cons ended up in a heap on the floor anyway.

Oops.


	10. Loopy Ninja is Loopy

Hailey (in Prowl's body)

I tried not to start giggling as the three Decepticons untangled themselves, cursing the whole time. (Well, I assume it was cursing. Even though I can't understand Cybertronian, it still sounded angry.) "Vat are joo looking at, Autobot filth?!" Hothead snapped. _Three Decepticons making fools of themselves. _I thought. Although, I still valued my life, so I chose not to say that.

However, my sleep deprived mind did pick up on something else in that sentence. "You guys keep calling me 'Autobot' and 'Ninjabot' but I'm not that. Or am I? Am I Prowl, or Hailey? _Am I a guy?!_ Wait, Transformers don't have genders. Do I have _no _genderright now? ...This body-switching business is confusing." I rattled off. Eventually I realized that I was rambling and looked away from the floor, where my gaze had become focused, and to the now upright Decepticons. They looked quite bemused.

"Hi." I said abruptly, as I often did when I found myself in an awkward situation. "Get out of here, Autobot." Icy said, seeming tired of me.

I turned and started walking away, but couldn't help but mutter "Make some idiot twenty feet tall, and he thinks he rules the Earth." "ZAT'S IT, I VILL CRUSH YOU!" Hothead roared, incensed by the muttered insult. I quickly dropped the F bomb while taking off, now running for my life. Luckily, Blitzwing's larger frame, while he had more strength than me, was much slower than the thin, lanky, lightness of my borrowed frame. My smaller size also let me turn corners much faster, while Blitzwing was often stumbling into the walls. I started cackling like a maniac as I sped down the halls.

That cackling died quickly as I felt a tightening around my spark chamber. The disc affixed to my chest started to hurt, the low level of pain making me aware that my boundary was rapidly approaching. I spit a curse before rounding the next corner. I managed to duck into an open doorway before Blitzwing was around the corner to see me do so, and he kept thundering past, cursing away in his native tongue.

The disc on my chest still hurt, but it wasn't unbearable. I nonetheless wanted to be out of there so that the pain would stop, but I knew I should probably see if there was anything useful in here. I didn't know what the room used to be, but the place was lined with filing cabinets, and every drawer was still filled to bursting with paperwork. Eww. Paperwork is like homework but worse. Well, I needed something to entertain me, so maybe I could just do a slagload of origami or something. ...Did this place have some kind of blowtorch? That pyromaniac hope was enough to get me to shove whole filing cabinets into my subspace before leaving.

I kept walking back the way I'd come until the disc finally stopped hurting. I gave a relieved sigh of my vents and was about to start looking for something to start a fire when Megatron came up to me. "Autobot, this is malfunctioning. Fix it." Without any preamble, Megatron reached over to his arm, detached his fusion cannon with a loud _click_, and dropped it into my arms. I had to use both arms to hold it up, making me feel tiny despite the fact that I was somewhere around twenty feet tall. (Then again, that's kinda short by Cybertronian standards, isn't it?) I gaped at him as he walked away.

Seriously? I knew nothing about fusion cannons! Pit, I was never able to work a slagging _water gun_ correctly. (I have the worst aim in the history of everything forever.) And beyond that, he just _gave_ me his _weapon!_ I aimed it at his still retreating form and felt extremely evil... until I realized that I had no clue how to fire the thing. Fraggit. Smart Megatron. Cocky, but smart.

I sighed in resignation. Pyromaniac Hailey would have to wait. Slave labor Hailey was needed.

I went into a storage room, awkwardly dragging the cannon with me. This particular room was nearly always empty, and I'd unofficially claimed it as my own. It had lots of open space, crates for arranging into thrones or forts (I was bored), and a large support beam perfect to hang from. When sleep seemed to become imminent, I'd hang from that rafter, and when I fell asleep, the sensation of falling (Or the sensation of hitting my face on the floor, if falling wasn't enough.) would wake me up and I'd be good for the next few hours. Hey, it was dumb but it worked.

Also, I'd found three forgotten barrels of oil back here, which I was nursing along whenever I was sure I could sneak a sip without being seen. As of now, I'd already gone through one and I'd learned to ignore the low energy warnings always at the corner of my vision.

Anyway, I pulled up a crate as a chair, and unsubspaced the cleaning rag I'd been so graciously "gifted" early on in my stay. (How long had I been here? My internal chronometer was damaged, and therefore useless, so I had no idea.) I reached my arm down the barrel, wiping out the grime. While my hand was in there, I felt an odd bump out of place. Withdrawing my hand briefly to set the dirty rag on the crate beside me, I reached my hand back in and re-found the anomaly. Pulling out my find, I held it up the the light. A rock half the size of a human, a mere pebble in comparison to the cannon it had jammed. How anticlimactic. I chucked the rock over my shoulder.

Well, I found nothing else obviously wrong with the cannon, so I moved on to polishing it, since I knew it was expected of me. As I rubbed the separate polishing cloth over the once again glossy black exterior of the cannon, I grumbled to myself. Adopting an obnoxious falsetto, I mocked "Ooh, Look at me! I'm Megatron! I can't clean my own stuff. I'm too good for all of you!" I trailed off into annoyed muttering.

Then an idea struck me. I_ would_ put that paper to good use. As I smiled evilly, I went back to polishing the fusion cannon instead of gesticulating flamboyantly while mocking Megsy.

As I swiped down the side of the cannon near where it attached to Megatron's arm, I heard a click and felt something depress. Before I had time to say "Uh-oh" the cannon had started to whirr menacingly. I dropped it, and as it hit the floor it fired, rocketing backwards to slam into the wall from the rather formidable kickback. A smoking pile of rubble was all that was left of the crate I'd been sitting on. From my place hanging from the ceiling I saw the cannon power down, as if nothing had happened.

So that's how you fired it.

* * *

((A/N: This is actually pretty authentic, you guys. I was pretty loopy when I started writing this. Granted, I re-read it when I was lucid again, but still. This what my mind gets like. Oh yeah, energon goodies to anyone who can find the G1 reference in this chapter and tell me where it's from!))


End file.
